Valentine's Day gifts can go horribly, terribly wrong. I'm not talking about vaccum cleaners or a treadmill, I mean gifts that might seem romantic, but really just scream I don't know you at all. Cheap flowers, cheap chocolate, stuffed animals.

This is my list of books that, if you gave them to me as a gift to woo me, I would be wooed. 

Mr. Prickles: A Quill-Fated Love Story (Hardcover)

By Kara LaReau, Scott Magoon

$14.99

ISBN-13: 9781596434837
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Roaring Brook Press, 12/2011

A porcupine love story! It expresses my emotional issues in an adorable picture book! Gift Response: Holy crap. I might marry this one.

---

House of Holes (Paperback)

By Nicholson Baker

$15.00

ISBN-13: 9781439189528
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Simon & Schuster, 2/2012

Other Editions of this Title

Hilarious and filthy and wildly imaginative. Ah-may-zing. Gift response: yes! This guy has a literary kink, too!

---

Author-Illustrator Starter Kit (Boxed Set)

By McSweeney's Books

$13.95

ISBN-13: 9781936365456
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: McSweeney's McMullens, 7/2011

3 blank hardcover books for you to write and illustrate yourself. What story will you tell? Gift response: depends on the art. Has the potential of being the Best. Gift. Ever.

---

The World of Downton Abbey (Hardcover)

By Jessica Fellowes, Julian Fellowes

$29.99

ISBN-13: 9781250006349
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: St. Martin's Press, 12/2011

Other Editions of this Title

A look behind the scenes and at the real people who lived this. A must-read for all Downton Abbey fans. Gift Response: yes! He listens when I talk about stuff I like!

---

The Onion Presents: Love, Sex, and Other Natural Disasters: Relationship Reporting from America's Finest News Source (Paperback)

By The Staff of the Onion

$12.95

ISBN-13: 9781594745492
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Quirk Books, 1/2012

Relationship reporting from The Onion. A safe gift for early on - no pressure here, just funny. Gift Response: ah, he IS one of my tribe. Nice.

---

The Unofficial Mad Men Cookbook: Inside the Kitchens, Bars, and Restaurants of Mad Men (Paperback)

By Judy Gelman, Peter Zheutlin

$16.95

ISBN-13: 9781936661411
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Smart Pop, 11/2011

Other Editions of this Title

Give me this and take me out for drinks, and I'll play Don Draper with you. Wear a hat.

---

Missed Connections: Love, Lost & Found (Paperback)

By Sophie Blackall

$13.95

ISBN-13: 9780761163589
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Workman Publishing, 9/2011

Other Editions of this Title

It's neat to get inside people's heads. Romance! Bravery! Desperation! Love! Gift Response: wow. Romantic without being cheesy. He might be too good for me.

---